How to support your pals
How to support your pals
💬 Well done, pal. I know how much you put into that & how much it meant to you…..💬
“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.”
What does that genuine and authentic friendship feel like…
Supporting your goals –
‘’That’ll never work, such a stupid idea, don’t waste your time – I’m just being realistic though’’ – Do these feel familiar? It’s not about blind loyalty and saying everything will be great when there isn’t a solid plan behind things. It’s about hearing and seeing your friend, understanding their motivation for going for this goal and identifying what role you can play in helping them achieve it.
Laugh with, not at –
This is an interesting one. Yes, 100% it’s not about laughing at a pal when they may feel insecure or vulnerable about something (don’t know if they feel insecure or vulnerable? Ask them, in a kind and simple way). Still, at the same time, as humans, we’re social animals, and that level of interaction is vital to building connections and relationships.
Of course, in the traditional clubhouse environments, jokes at the expense of teammates and pals are commonplace, and may this continue. But it MUST be with permission and not to the detriment of anyone. Feel like this isn’t happening? May want to question that friendship.
Feeling seen & heard –
This is HUGE. You might not understand what your pal is going through or even understand what they’re saying – but just being there, engaging in active listening and playing back the things you’re hearing can make a world of difference to a pal. You don’t always have to agree with everything they say, but helping them feel seen and heard can make a huge difference in moving through a challenging situation.
Support you to feel safe –
Yes, this is about physical safety, too, but it is mainly about emotional safety. Knowing you can talk to your friends about the confusing things in your head that you don’t understand and know you want to be judged or gossiped about is what it’s all about. Communicate that you don’t expect your pals to have all the answers but just be there to help you work them out.
Things to be curious about…
❓How does it feel to have a friend support you like that?
❓How does it feel when they don’t?
❓Do you expect every friend to respond in the same way?
We’d love to hear your comments and hear what you think 👇
Feedback
What’s stopping you from giving feedback?
This is a great article on biased feedback. not something I’d really considered before!
Dragons RFC Community Programme
The Dragons RFC community programme
The Speakeasy Bench:
Our mission is to place a Speakeasy bench in every community sports venue in the world.
Sport has the undeniable power to not only enhance lives but save lives too. We’re not supposed to know everything that goes on inside our heads, being curious helps us to identify where we belong, and understand what our clubhouse, looks & feels like.
That’s where the Speakeasy bench comes in.
Each bench will have a QR code, that once scanned, takes you directly to your online clubhouse, where you can access amongst other things, free well-being resources for you and your teammates. There is a story behind how each bench is built, and now is the time to tell your story.
Check out our mission below:
Dragons Community programme:
The dragons community team are doing some truly brilliant things across Newport and Gwent as a whole.
The team engage with a wide array of
Mental Health in Rugby:
TACKLING MENTAL HEALTH THROUGH DRAGONS COMMUNITY AND OUR PARTNERS
Dragons Community aims to tackle mental health throughout its Community and Inclusion provisions with the support of key partners and agencies.
No one should have to face Mental Health problems alone, so mental health is at the heart of our work to raise awareness and promote understanding of mental health.
Dragons support listen up, speak up:
Listen Up, Speak Up.
We’re supporting #ListenUpSpeakUp from the NSPCC, helping adults know where to go for support and how to speak up for children who need it, so all of us can play a part in preventing child abuse.
Whether or not children are a big part of your everyday life, the NSPCC is encouraging adults to take 10 minutes to learn:
- What to look out for when a child needs help.
- The steps to take if you’re concerned about a child.
- Where to go if you, or someone you know, needs support.
Take 10 minutes to help a child HERE
Women’s & Girls Rugby:
The WRU Hubs are girls only rugby environments, with age groups ranging from U9s up to U18s. This friendly, non-competitive and welcoming space allows girls to try rugby and develop their skills with a range of formats from tag, touch and contact.
Hub rugby is based in the Spring/Summer months which allows light evenings for training, more rugby being played and more time for BBQs and family get togethers! The Hubs aim is to give every girl a positive rugby experience and give them a format of the game in which they can enjoy and thrive!
As the Welsh Rugby Union believe there is a Jersey for All!
There are four amazing hubs located in the Dragons region: The Jesters, Chargers, Knights and Arrows. So come and try our game!
CLICK HERE to find out more
Outreach and Inclusive rugby
Dragons are continually looking at alternative Outreach Rugby provision to widen the rugby landscape and to engage with rugby enthusiasts from all walks of life.
We are aiming to provide a diverse range of opportunities, so everyone can enjoy playing or learning through various forms of the game #JerseyForAll.
Through the vehicle of our provisions, we endeavour to positively impact on people’s lives within our region.
Dragons Education:
Using the power of Rugby as the catalyst to inspire and educate our regional youngsters is important to us at the Dragons Community.
We aim to provide inspiring opportunities to raise aspirations, whilst also reaching out to young people who may be disenfranchised and/or lack motivation towards mainstream education.
Dragons Phoenix:
The Homeless Rugby Team is a walking/touch rugby team made up homeless or previously homeless people and was established in the 2015/16 season. The team has gone from strength to strength, providing many memorable moments and we are very proud of this provision.
In consultation with our players, coaches & partners, we have re-branded to ‘Dragons Phoenix’, which takes away the stigma of the name ‘Homelessness’ from our participants now that they are playing regular fixtures.
Wheelchair Rugby:
Wheelchair rugby is fast-paced, high-octane, highly addictive and the only full-contact Paralympic sport, it is open to men and women with a physical impairment and paraplegics.
Train, play, make new friends and keep fit in this great team environment. Be a part of the Dragons Wheelchair Rugby team and bring your fire.
For further information contact Karen Burgess on [email protected]
On X @Dragonswcr
Walking Rugby:
Walking Rugby, supported by ABUHB and sponsored by Centerprise International, takes place every week at the home of the Dragons.
As our Walking Rugby provision continues to expand, we are exploring opportunities to run satellite centres in our communities.
#JerseyForAll #WalkandTalk #MentalHealth
Dragons Equality:
Dragons RFC celebrates equality, diversity, respect and inclusion. We place huge importance on tolerance and equal opportunities for all.
We are committed to confronting and eliminating discrimination whether by reason of age, gender, ethnicity, nationality, religion or belief, sexual orientation, marital status or civil partnership, ability or disability, pregnancy and maternity.
Rugby is for everyone. It belongs to, and should be enjoyed by, anyone who wants to participate in it, whether that is as a player, official, member of staff or spectator
Dragons Autism support:
Dragons RFC launched a brand-new Autism provision within our Community department in October 2021.
The new provision takes place indoors at Risca Rugby Club for children aged 5-16 every Wednesday from 5pm-6pm.
The sessions will be run by fully qualified and experienced autism rugby coaches and will be filled with fun engaging activities that include mini games and soft play.
Dragons Visually Impaired:
Our Visually impaired provision takes place indoors at Risca Rugby Club every Wednesday from 5pm-6pm, alongside our autism support programme.
For further information contact Karen Burgess on [email protected]
Sporting Memories:
The Dragons Community have partnered with Centerprise International to drive forward our Sporting Memories Wales initiative, using the power of sport to engage with people living with dementia, depression or are socially isolated.
Sporting Memories Wales work with communities and organisations to promote the mental and physical wellbeing of people over 50.
Military & Veterans support:
The Dragons are proud to support their military and veteran family with ticket initiatives at our Dragons RFC matches at Rodney Parade to enjoy the match day atmosphere.
For more information on the Military & Veteran Support offered at Dragons RFC email [email protected]
In the clubhouse this week
Week #1 of in the clubhouse.....
Anyone–even you!–can learn how to harness the power of humour in business (and life), based on the popular class at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business.
Working professionals have fallen off a humour cliff. In fact, around the time we enter the workforce, the number of times we laugh and smile on an average day statistically starts to plummet. I’ve always been fascinated by the benefits of humour in the workplace, and I must admit I’ve got it wrong at times.
But there’s a place for it, surely? it builds connections with people, creates enjoyable environments and increases productivity.
I’m interested to hear your thoughts…
🍷 @momentumwinesuk @bodegagarzon
If Uruguay has a signature wine, then Tannat is it. The French grape thrives in the coastal region of Maldanado. On the nose, there are intense aromas of plums and raspberries, with a hint of spice. It is a full-bodied wine, with ripe tannins complementing the juicy dark fruit and mineral notes. It is a striking and powerful wine. (notes from Momentum Wines).
I only last year tried Tannat for the first time, I was looking for something with a bit of punch and as ever, something a little different. this was SPOT ON. I love the story behind it and the fact it’s a little less well-known. I can’t imagine it’ll be kept quiet for long mind you. The team at Momentum Wines have a brilliant range of lesser-known gems from South America and the whole range from Bodega Garzon is quickly becoming a favourite.
📺 @appletv
Blackbird is not a story for the faint-hearted.
Jimmy Keene is sentenced to 10 years in a minimum security prison but he cuts a deal with the FBI to befriend a suspected serial killer. Keene has to elicit a confession from Larry Hall to find the bodies of as many as eighteen women.
Gripping from start to finish, I may or may not have finished it within 2 days 🙂
I Boody love Elizabeth Day and don’t care who knows about it. Her conversation style is bordering perfection and always makes her guests feel super comfortable and as a result, they feel safe to talk about & reflect on many of their life failings.
Two of my favourite episodes involve two (very) different people from Australasia.
Bonus episode with All-Black Legend Dan Carter
Dan Carter; Yes an absolute great of the game but not without some very tough times. Dan talked brilliantly about his struggles with injury, the pressure and privilege of being an ABG (All Black Great) and how he relentlessly strove to be the best he can be on and off the pitch.
Also, if you haven’t yet checked out his book ‘‘The Art of winning’’, it’s well worth a read…
Listen to the Dan Carter Episode here
Domenica Calarco, Married at First Sight Australia.
Domenica Calarco is one of the most popular contestants of any MAFS series, and a huge advocate for wellbeing and doing the right thing. Domenica was paired with Jack and their relationship wasn’t without its troubles, but the resilience Dom showed in the face of being a young divorcee, being bullied by a fellow contestant and dealing with the fallout in the national press afterwards. Dom comes across as completely authentic, genuine and someone who holds themselves accountable for their actions.
Listen to the Domenica Calarco episode here
Spotting the signs yourself & others
Spotting the signs in yourself & others
It’s not always straightforward to spot the signs in someone who is struggling, nor is it easy to spot the signs in ourselves either.
We wanted to share some videos, resources and information that may help you be curious about what signs can look like in different people. Also, to help you recognise some of those feelings you may be feeling, and that you don’t understand.
If you find anything that’s helped you we’d love you to share it and comment below ⬇️
Movember – How to spot signs of poor mental health
The Charlie Waller Trust – Spotting the signs
Homecare – Spotting the signs
mind – Depression signs & symptoms
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/symptoms/
Young minds – Signs & symptoms
Men’s Health magazine article – Spotting the Signs of depression in Us and Others
https://www.menshealth.com/uk/mental-strength/a26441606/signs-of-depression/
Head above water – spotting the signs of depression
https://hatw.co.uk/spotting-the-signs-of-depression/
Dr Julie – 1-minute video on the signs of depression
Supporting your children
Supporting your children
Supporting your children:
As parents, all we want to do is keep our children and the young people in our lives safe.
We don’t have all the answers for them.
Nobody has brought up your child, at this time, with your considerations.
There are some superb organisations & resources out there that can support you navigate the challenges together.
YoungMinds is the UK’s leading charity committed to improving the emotional well-being and mental health of children and young people. Driven by their experiences we campaign, research and influence policy and practice.
They also provide expert knowledge to professionals, parents and young people through their Parents’ Helpline and online resources.
NSPCC – Supotting the signs in your children
Active Listening
Active Listening
Active listening:
❔How much do you actively listen when in a conversation with someone?
❔How often do you feel like the person you’re talking to, is listening to understand you, rather than just to respond?
❔How often do you feel the person you’re talking to is genuinely interested in what you’re saying, and how do they show that?
Active listening can be a HUGELY beneficial tool in our toolbox for life, work and sport.
5 benefits of active listening…
1️⃣ Active Listening Builds Trust and Strong Relationships.
2️⃣ Active Listening Can Help You to Resolve Conflict.
3️⃣ Active Listening Prevents You From Missing Important Information.
4️⃣ Active Listening Enables You To Identify or Anticipate Problems.
5️⃣ Active Listening Helps You To Build a Deeper Connection
5 examples of active listening techniques …
1️⃣ Noticing (and using) non-verbal cues
2️⃣ Asking open-ended questions to encourage further responses
3️⃣ Paraphrasing and reflecting back on what has been said
4️⃣ Listening to understand rather than to respond
5️⃣ Withholding judgment and advice
We would love to hear your thoughts on active listening.
The Speakeasy bench
The Speakeasy Bench
Our mission is to place a Speakeasy bench in every community sports venue in the world.
It’s human nature to crave that sense of belonging to something. A sense that we’ve lost over the last few years. Working with community sports venues across the world, we aim to create a focal point for people to come together and connect through the sport.
That’s where the Huddle bench came in. Sport has the undeniable power to not only enhance lives but save lives too. We’re not supposed to know everything that goes on inside our heads, being curious helps us to identify where we belong, and understand what our clubhouse, looks & feels like.
Each bench will have a QR code, that once scanned, takes you directly to our online clubhouse, where you can access amongst other things, free well-being resources for you and your teammates. There is a story behind how each bench is built, and now is the time to tell your story.
Click here for more information
- Why should you have a Speakeasy Bench at your venue?
- FREE QR codes leading to FREE online Mental health resources
- Each bench can have the colours of your venue
- It stands out and shows it’s ok to be different
- Got a bench at your venue already? Paint it pink and we’ll send you the QR codes!
- It’s a safe place for people to talk and share stories
- Get creative & build your own Speakeasy bench, Picnic bench, garden seat, tall table in the back bar. Whatever works for your venue.
Check out the video below for more benefits…..
Speakeasy Bench #4 - Dragons RFC Supporterd by Addis Housewares
Speakeasy Bench #4 - Dragons RFC Supported by Addis Housewares
RODNEY PARADE LATEST WORLD FAMOUS VENUE
TO BECOME HOME TO SPEAKEASY CLUB ‘PINK BENCH’
Last week it was Sheffield Wednesday’s world renowned Hillsborough and this week it is Dragons RFC’s famous Rodney Parade ground that has welcomed the latest Speakeasy Club ‘pink bench’ in the battle to open up conversations on mental health.
Long-standing Owls fan Simon Clarke, the founder of the Penarth-based Speakeasy Club, has been trekking around Wales and England linking up with sports clubs to try to spread the gospel about opening up to friends and family when times get tough.
Clarke’s mission is to put free wellbeing and mental health resources in every community sports venue in the world, with the Speakeasy Bench being the current delivery model.
Each bench is strategically placed to attract attention and its distinctive colour stimulates curiosity. Two unique QR codes on each bench then allow people to scan in straight to the online clubhouse where they are able to access free mental health support and resources to support themselves and their teammates.
Rodney Parade, one of the oldest sporting venues in Wales and home to both Dragons RFC and Newport County, is the latest venue to adopt a bench for the new season in similar fashion to Sheffield Wednesday, who took two last week.
Last month Clarke installed a bench at St David’s RFC in Pembrokeshire and a bowls club in Ebbw Vale. Since October last year there have been seven installations and there are several more in the pipeline.
On top of that, Speakeasy Club has partnered with Rugby Mental Health charity Looseheadz, and is going to work with all 274 registered rugby clubs in Wales to stress the power of conversations within sporting communities.
“I’m a big supporter of open, honest, and curious conversations on the training pitch as well as in the clubhouse,” explained Dragons head coach Dai Flanagan.“It was really interesting being part of the clubhouse conversation on the bench with representatives from across the Dragons and the different perspectives on what the club means to people were very powerful.“My local rugby club Penallta RFC means the world to me and my family, so I know first-hand how important it is to come together in a safe space with the common interest of rugby at heart. Long may it continue.”
Clarke founded Speakeasy Club to try to inspire people to take time out and talk more after he struggled with his own mental health andc one day found himself maybe on the edge of a cliff on Barry Island.
“Sport has given me so much throughout my whole life. When I was struggling with my own mental illness, the rugby club clubhouse was my safe space and almost a refuge from reality,” said Clarke.
“We must make these places as accessible as possible for their communities and show the next generations the power of talking to each other. That’s what we aim to do through Speakeasy Club and why I want to see pink benches across Wales and beyond.”
The latest bench will be installed at Rodney Parade ahead of the new BKT United Rugby Championship season. It also comes a week after the news that England cricket legend Graham Thorpe took his own life after suffering from severe depression.
“The idea is that we do all the work for you by collating the fantastic help that is out there. It saves you time and energy,” added Clarke.
“I often wonder whether if I’d access to these resources in the places I was going regularly, maybe I wouldn’t have found myself on the edge of that cliff at Barry Island.”
Dragons RFC Community manager Mike Sage has sited the Speakeasy Bench at the heart of the club’s fan zone at Rodney Parade.“Our growing ‘Family of Provisions’ encompass Sport, Education, Inclusion, Community Outreach and Health and Wellbeing to drive change and positive outcomes. The work Speakeasy Club are doing to complement these areas in partnership with us makes complete sense,” said Sage.
“We pride ourselves on being committed to inclusive rugby opportunities, and that extends to the wellbeing of all involved with our community programme and the Dragons RFC, both on and off the pitch.’’
For further information contact Simon Clarke (founder): [email protected] or www.speakeasyclub.co.uk